Looking for love has become so easy (in theory) with different dating platforms available for the single and searching. While it may seem shocking to the elders, Bumble, Tinder, and Facebook Dating are here to stay. Whichever you use, arming yourself with knowledge of the most common (and sometimes unusual) red flags is the best way to stay alert and keep yourself from going through another heartbreak. Here are five signs you should start running.
Nothing Is on His Profile
You know how these dating apps go, right? You swipe right (or left), depending on how cute the guy is. You find someone you like, but when you check his profile, you notice the telling details are blank. Is basic info conveniently MIA? Are most of his photos mysterious and don’t even show his face? If you’re still interested, tread very carefully. It’s one of the most common online dating red flags. Transparency is crucial when getting to know someone.
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He Keeps Avoiding Your Questions
“The last guy I talked to on Bumble turned out to be married. SoI made sure to ask the next guy I connected with a lot of questions. I even asked him for a CENOMAR. He was pissed that I asked for proof that he wasn’t married, but my first experience was so traumatic that I just had to, ”says Tara (not her real name). If he avoids answering questions that are important to you, that’s a red flag.
If someone wants to earn your trust, they will answer your questions. Consider it a bonus if they provided proof through documentation, too. However, be respectful when you ask them. Not everyone is comfortable sharing details about their life with strangers. Give it time. And if you want information, try sharing something about yourself first.
He’s a Bit Controlling
You’ve only started going out, but he’s already controlling your every move, down to what you should wear. Major red flag alert! He's likely insecure about your connection and himself. You don’t want to be with someone like that because it can only worsen. Pretty soon, he’ll want to know where you are every minute of the day. He might even make you give up important things – like – if he continues to get his way.
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He Is Criticizing Constantly
Relationships thrive on honest communication and being each other’s cheerleader. If your partner constantly criticizes and puts you down, it may affect your in the long run. You then feel insecure and start doubting yourself and your abilities. A study published in the National Library of Medicine says that emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical and verbal abuse. If he goes out of his way to make you , don’t walk – run.
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He Keeps Lying
Relationships require trust. According to the 2019 PLoS One study "Lie Prevalence, Lie Characteristics, and Strategies of Self-Reported Good Liars," people lie an average of once or twice daily. Making excuses for your partner’s inconsistencies is one of the most common red flags in relationships. You may develop trust and security issues when they keep lying to you. Habitual lying can signal that the person is trying to hide something from you or is trying to control you, so you see them in a better light.
Keep an honest and open communication line between you and your partner. Nurture your relationship by discussing even the hard topics you’d rather stay away from. Be positive and understanding of each other. According to the American Psychological Association, committing to staying honest with each other strengthens your relationship and keeps you healthy.
Handling red flags means knowing when a relationship is still salvageable. Talk things out when you still can, but also learn to walk away when it has become too much. Assess the issues that make you uncomfortable and ultimately make the right choice for you.